“Jesus wept.” 

I had read these words countless times, learning from a young age that this was the shortest verse in the Bible. These two words meant nothing to me until that day when they became brand new. 

It had been one of those days when I was stone-facing my despair and trying to get through the day. Bit by bit. My tears were threatening to spill out at any moment. “Jesus help me.” I murmured in a desperate prayer over and over again. “Jesus wept” flashed through my mind. I knew I needed to cry. I needed to pour out my tears to the one who has saved every single one. I needed to give back to Jesus what he so beautifully gave to us-authenticity. 

Jesus was approaching the grave of a dear friend. A friend he had eaten with, laughed with, had late night conversations with, a friend who had consistently extended warm hospitality, a home away from home, a safe place, a haven, someone who had welcomed him just as he was, who honored him, who loved him and who Jesus loved back. Lazarus was dead. 

Despite the plan to raise Lazarus from the dead Jesus was deeply moved. He knew the plan was to breath life back into the dead body of his friend. Jesus knew the truth. Lazarus would be restored, resurrected, made well, made new, dry bones would live again. Yet…Jesus was free to grieve.

Two simple words comforted me that day. Jesus knew what was true, yet he was broken. Jesus, fully human and fully God, offered permission through the example of his own life, his own story, his own grief, his own loss. Jesus did not reprimand himself for weeping. Imagine, “get your act together, Jesus, don’t you know you are about to raise this guy from the dead.”…“Come on, you know the truth.”…”Maybe I just need to pray more, then I wouldn’t feel this way.” No…Jesus wept.

What would happen if all the energy spent on feeling guilty over the way we feel was directed toward authenticity with God and others? What would happen if we took the permission of Jesus, to feel deeply, to not condemn ourselves or others for grief or anger or sadness or joy or delight or elation? We are a culture who upholds the later while barely tolerating the former.  

There is a reason in some cultures funerals are a month long. It used to be that when someone died one wore black for 6 months and then only muted colors for another 6 months. A stark difference to our culture today where employers offer one or two weeks bereavement, often not fully taken because we must keep moving to avoid the pain. 

The message we have told ourselves is that happiness is good and sadness is bad. If we feel sad we must believe the truth, pray, worship, and bible study our way to happiness. 

The Bible has something different to offer…”come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. “God is close to the broken-hearted and saves those crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted (fortified)” Matthew 5:4.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:17.

The whole reason we need a “great cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1) is because life is heartbreaking. The reason why the “peace of God surpasses all understanding” (Phil 4:7) is because it is understandable to not be at peace. 

The reason we need to be reminded over and over to “not fear” is because we will be afraid. The reason we need reminding to think on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right…” (Phil 4:8) is not because it is wrong to think otherwise but because it is human to think otherwise. Although we can condemn ourselves for feeling down, sad, anxious, depressed, suicidal, panicked, grieved, and then look at verses like “count it all joy when you experience various trials…”  (James1) we can assume these feelings are wrong.

May I dare to suggest these feelings are not wrong but an invitation to authentic relationship with Jesus and others. It’s not one or the other. It is both. We can grieve and be full of joy. We can be broken and fully content. We can have trouble and be at peace. Jesus says, “for in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

God offers a wide open space for our sadness and grief. He does not push us away, he offers open arms. He does not reject us, he welcomes us, just as we are in this moment, he says “come.” God gives us permission to be broken before him. It is only in his “presence there is fullness of joy…” Psalm 16:11

Today you are invited into the presence of a holy God just as you are. May you find peace, not when life is right and well, but as a child of God.