Honest

“Why did God let Finley get Cerebral Palsy?” Our 7 year old asked through tears. He hadn’t been able to sleep, kept awake by the same question that plagued the minds of his parents.

“Come here, buddy.” Matt beckoned him from the hallway to the couch to snuggle in between us. 

“I don’t know anyone else who has a sister with a disability.” He held back a sob. “Why did God let this happen?” 

Matt and I looked at each other, eyes full of emotion as we both put our arms around our oldest son. My heart hung heavy as we cried with him. 

“We have asked the same question. We don’t know why.” Matt said simply. The answer of understanding was all our big hearted boy needed to let the sobs out. He cried and cried. So did we…pouring all our grief and sadness over brokenness out. 

Slowly, slowly a calm came over him. His heart found relief in knowing he was not alone. 

“Can we pray for you?” Matt asked. 

“That would be great.

I go back to that night often in my heart. The night there was a shift, a deepening of relationship, an acceptance of vulnerability and pain, an establishment of not knowing and that being ok. Comfort is never found in answers. Comfort is found in knowing you are not alone. 

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18