Pursued

“I understand what it is like to watch your child operate in a body that limits their ability.” 

My heart stopped. Tears sprang into my eyes. What? 

I had been praying, well more like complaining, earlier that day to God about feeling so alone in my grief and sadness about Finley’s diagnosis. I felt lost and unintentionally abandoned. Life for everyone else just continued on while life for us had turned upside down.

And then my heart heard those life giving words. ““I understand what it is like to watch your child operate in a body that limits their ability.” God understood exactly what it is like to watch your child operate with great limitations. He watched Jesus, who was used to the perfection and glory of heaven, live in a human body on earth to die a death he did not deserve. God, as a parent, knew, understood and was compassionate to the pain and heart ache a parents heart goes through watching your child go through immense difficulty. 

Nothing had changed but everything changed in that moment. God saw me, exactly where I was, in my heartache and pain and suffering. He stepped into my mess. He got down into the pit of despair with me and extended words of grace from a parent perspective. He did not tell me that he was going to do great things through all of this, he didn’t offer an encouraging verse…he simply said “I understand, I get it.” 

I need to remember what God has said. I need to look back on what God has promised. I forget so easily. Apparently, “remember” or words similar show up way more in the Bible than “believe” …can I get an Amen! I forget Every. Single.

Day. 

Wherever you are, whatever you are facing, big or small, God is with you, he is for you and he understands exactly where you are. He is putting his arm around you, he smiles on you in the way a good father does when he is with the child he adores, not based on how well that kid is doing or how many checks the to-do list has, but just because that child belongs to him. You are his, dear one.